An Unexpected Covid -19 Gift – Savoring

Yesterday was sunny with a cool breeze, so I seized the opportunity to venture out of my house. As I strolled down my sidewalk, I swooned at the neon green color of my lawn. Rain-drenched spring grass is so vibrant! I thrilled seeing the trees I passed with their infant leaves. Gently raising the end of branches, I marveled at the intricate patterns of leaves, petals and seeds.

“How beautiful you all are! Bless you for continuing your normal flow of life, when nothing is normal for us humans.”

Being cooped up at home, I was appreciating nature more deeply than usual.

The Why

So much is missing from our lives now. We can’t travel, go out to eat, go to venues for entertainment, and worst of all for me, can’t visit with loved ones and friends. Our sphere of activity has shrunk to the confines of our homes and neighborhood. At times, the uncertainty of when the world will be safe to move freely in again, feels like a nightmare I’m fighting to wake up from.

“ Knowing how to cope with negative events and savor positive ones are two sides of the coin of life experiences. Both are essential for living a happy life.”

— Jan Stanley

Focus on All That’s Still Good

So I refocus on what I do have, what I still have. I savor, or focus in on the small everyday good things I am still blessed with. I notice something precious, pause to thoroughly enjoy the pleasure of it, and appreciate in words the joy it’s bringing me.

Here’s an example. I usually put my hands together in thanks for the food I eat, but now, I savor so much beyond the food itself. My go to breakfast these days are smoothies. Before I take my first sip, I thank the sun, the rain and the soil for nurturing the spinach, berries, almonds, ginger, apples, and greens in my protein powder. I thank every person involved in the process of making it possible for these foods to be available to me (with a shout out to my son Theo, who now picks up groceries for his over-age-60 mom). I’m grateful for my trusty Oster blender that liquefies all these wonderful fruits and veggies. And I thank God for it all.

Then I use my senses to fully experience the pleasure of my smoothie. I delight in the its beautiful olive green color, its rich creamy texture, and its cold gingery taste.

A Fresh Perspective on Normal Life

Every life experience, positive or negative, is an opportunity to grow and embrace the challenge before us. In our busy, active lives, we often overlook the fundamental gifts we’re blessed with. Now with our sphere of life so condensed, those gifts are front and center:

A roof over our heads, a bed to sleep in, food to eat, running water, a hot shower and soap to bathe; our health; being able to move, breathe, speak; good books to read, wonderful entertainment to stream, music to lift and soothe our spirit; flowers blooming, the sun rising and setting, the stars in the night sky; loved ones blessedly safe and healthy who we can zoom or FaceTime to share laughter, fears, and our hearts with.  

Savoring our everyday blessings can help us through the greatest challenge of our lifetime. Covid 19 right now seems interminable. We have no idea how long it will be until we can again move freely in the world or embrace our loved ones who live apart from us. I know I am counting the days when I can hug my son, Theo and my sister, Lois. I have a feeling they’ll have to pry me away. For now, appreciating all we do have, is the best way I know to face this challenge.

My vision is that when there is a vaccine, and life resumes, we will be better people for this challenge. We will appreciate the fundamental blessings of our lives (health, home, loved ones, nature) be more generous of spirit, and conserve our precious resources.

Your Takeaways

• Savor all the fundamentals you do have that bring you comfort and pleasure.

• Appreciate sensory details of sight, sound, smell, taste and feelings

• Reach out daily to loved ones to savor your connections.

• Develop the habit of opening your heart to the goodness you’re blessed with.

Why not today, be like George Bailey in It’s a Wonderful Life, and wake up to appreciate the simple joys ever present in your life!

What are you savoring these days? I’d love to hear from you.

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Thanksgiving Thoughts—Fill Your Own Cup, Then You Have So Much More to Share

Thanksgiving is coming up, and so we think about gathering with loved ones, the amazing turkey meal, and in the rush of travel and preparations, hopefully, some passing thoughts about all we have to be grateful for. I have discovered daily, hourly, moment-filled gratitude, is what fills my cup, and has literally transformed me! My gratitude practice fuels me to see the good, speak the good, and spread the good, and it can do the same for you.

A Gratitude Practice

I began my gratitude practice many years ago, by reflecting on my day, as I lay my head on my pillow, ready to drift off to sleep. With exuberance from my heart, I’d thank God (believing all the everyday ordinary goodness and safety were huge gifts I was blessed with from beyond) for my loving, devoted husband, for our precious son, Theo, doing well, for my angel sister; then basic things like my steaming bowl of oatmeal accompanied by the NY Times, a brisk walk under sunny skies listening to an inspiring podcast; goals for the day accomplished and savored; moments when I made someone else smile or said the just right thing they needed to hear to keep going; the enrichment of a book or show; the joy of loving kind words received, laughter shared, or a meaningful conversation.

Millions of perceptions, thoughts, experiences, feelings, and people, are cause for gratitude. Overtime, in addition to my sacred bedtime practice, I am grateful moment by moment. The gift this morning of my hot shower and lilac scented soap from my friend, Jere; the swaying branches of the pine tree outside my window as I get to write this blog to you—all reasons to pause and feel the preciousness of now.  My cup is full to the brim with goodness to share.

Gratitude Makes Your Brain Happier

Neuropsychologist, Rick Hanson, author of Hardwiring Happiness, says, though our brains are hardwired to be negative as a survival mechanism passed down from our caveman ancestors, every time we savor a positive moment for 10 seconds or more, we actually install it in our brain and overtime our brain centers actually become more positive.

 Sweeten Your Cup With Self-Praise

A warm cup of gratitude tea is even better sweetened. I sweeten my cup with self-supporting words of praise. We all have inner critics of varied degrees of meanness. Mine used to rear its nasty head whenever I’d disappoint myself or someone else.  It would say things like, “You are no good. You messed up, again! You’re not as good as___.“ Now I talk to myself kindly, gently, sweetly, as I would to anyone I care about. If I mess up, I say, “It’s OK, Gail. You did your best, you’ll do better next time.”

Self-praise is the sweetest of sweets. Each time I do something good, like complete a task or goal, am kind and loving, do something challenging, keep my commitments to myself, make a difference in someone’s life—I do a full-out victory dance in my head, and say to myself (sometimes even aloud), “I’m so proud of you, Gailie!” Self-praise supports me in feeling capable, worthwhile, and good about myself.

I consciously choose these practices. When we saturate our consciousness and brain with gratitude, we develop sight for the good in everyone and everything. When we’re grateful for what is, and we sweeten it with loving self-supportive words, we have so much more to give. Gratitude and self-affirmation are the source from which our loving affirming way of life is sparked.

Your Takeaways

•   Begin a daily gratitude practice to install the good in your brain and heart.

• Be kind to yourself and notice all the good you do. Praise yourself for it! You will be sweetening your own tea and have an abundance of sweetness to share. 

Why not fill your cup with gratitude and the sweetness of self-supporting words, because you have so much good to give! Happiest Thanksgiving, I am grateful to have you in my Affirming Way of Life family. May you feel blessed beyond measure!

A Generosity Lesson

How often have you been utterly moved by the genius of a great work of art—a show, a movie, a sculpture, a dance performance, a book—and expressed your gratitude to the artist? The answer for most of us: rarely.

Recently, I had the exhilarating pleasure of attending a screening at Dartmouth College of one episode of Ken Burns’ latest documentary series, Country Music. (Ken is famous for his documentaries: The National Parks, Baseball, The Roosevelts, Jazz, The Civil War, The Vietnam War and others.) Though I’m not a country music lover, the opportunity to hear Ken speak was more than enough to thrill me.

The two-hour movie, explored the roots of country music through the biographies and performances of luminaries like Hank Williams and the Carter Family. The hardships these musicians endured, their sheer grit, and their influence was deeply moving. At the end of the movie Ken Burns, the writer, and the producer sat in chairs on stage to take questions. 

Mid-way through the Q and A’s, the man sitting behind me was called upon to speak. He said: “I would like to say to the three of you that you are literally an American treasure. You have unfolded the American experience in a way that is very, very unique and I never thought was possible. And I think, years from now when people are trying to define these specific periods in American history, they will go to your videos and find the answer there.”

Ken was visibly touched and answered thoughtfully. “Well, that is very kind of you. I hope to give something of value to my audiences. Our work lives because of gracious listeners like you. We tell our stories to connect with other human beings. Thank you.”

I was jumping out of my skin with delight at the exchange between that man (my friend, Jim) and Ken Burns. But why?

Recognizing A Person’s Contribution Lifts the Spirits of All

Jim’s words gave us all a gift. The exquisitely created documentary was brilliant, entertaining and highly informative. Jim generously and boldly put into words what most of us were feeling. His words palpably touched the heart of Ken. I saw it in his face, heard it in his warm tone of voice as he embraced the compliment, and felt how much he valued listeners appreciating his work.  And not just Ken was touched. I know, because as people were leaving, many came up to Jim to thank him for expressing what they were feeling. All the expressed gratitude in that auditorium just set my spirits soaring!

Pausing to appreciate the significance of a special moment that touches your heart and recognizing the person with affirming words, can raise the spirits of all present as if we were in a place of worship. It makes a moving, joyous experience complete.

Gratitude is Catchy

The next night my husband Gus and I were out to dinner with Jim and his wife Jeanne at a quirky Mexican restaurant in downtown, White River Junction, Vermont. It had the most unique décor (aqua tables, lime chairs, surf movies playing on screens in each corner of the room) and the nachos, grilled blackened watermelon, and mahi mahi tacos were the best I’d ever eaten. Inspired by the way Jim’s words completed the uplifting experience the night before, I decided to do the same.

“Can I please speak to the manager of the restaurant,” I asked our waitress. When he came to our table, I shared with him all my pleasure with the dining experience he created. He responded, “I am so happy you enjoyed your meal. It means so much to hear we’re doing a great job!” He walked away grinning widely and I’d say my tummy felt even happier sharing all the good feelings.

Your Takeaway

• Notice your pleasure and how you’re moved by experiences from a day with a friend, a delicious meal, an inspiring talk, a wonderful art exhibit—the list is endless.

• Be bold and generous and express your appreciation.

• Know that you’re elevating the experience for yourself, the recipient, and anyone else present.

Why not spread good energy in the world?