2 Ways to Gather Positive Energy to Fulfill Your Goals in 2023

I am a New Years junkie. I get all excited with the opportunity for a fresh beginning. Most of us have goals we want to achieve; changes we want to make.  It’s our human nature to change and grow even if we’re not consciously aware of it. Working toward goals and making positive changes gives zest to our life. Goals like losing weight, exercising more, taking up a new hobby, doing a major project, connecting more with friends and family. The problem that many of us know too well with New Year’s resolutions, is that by the second or third week of January we’ve already given up on them. Why is that?

When I thought of writing this blog, my intention was to boost your positive energy around goal setting and goal fulfillment. I write for you what I need as well. Some goals are easier for us to make happen. Others we need extra confidence to tackle.

I have two simple practices to share that can help you jump start your 2023 with positive energy to support you in realizing your goals.

Practice #1 – Reflection on Your 2022 Accomplishments

Many of us accomplish much more than we realize. We make subtle positive changes we don’t even recognize. We’re so busy living, planning, and doing that we don’t usually pause and take stock of how successful our efforts have actually been. Pausing to reflect on our small and large accomplishments in 2022 can fuel our faith in ourselves that we can accomplish whatever it is we desire in this new year of positive possibilities. Here’s how I do it.

I open my journal to a fresh page and title it My Accomplishments in 2022. Any sheet of paper will do, or the computer, voice memo or notes on your phone, your choices for recording are unlimited.

I’m generous with myself about what I call an accomplishment. Developing a new positive habit (no matter how slight), ways I’ve helped others, fun experiences I’ve had, maintaining good habits, promises I’ve kept – basically any goal or change I’ve wanted to make.

Here’s some of mine that give me good energy:

·       I affirm and appreciate my husband, Gus daily to water our closeness with love

·       I don’t chastise myself for making mistakes anymore! (This one was huge. For all my positivity, I have an unrelenting inner critic.)

·       I consistently walk weekly with my friend Naomi and speak weekly to Lynnie in CA

·       I joined A Course in Miracles group of like-minded spiritual seekers and attend weekly meetings

·       I keep developing my coaching skills by reading books, took a course with Marcia Reynolds, and joined International Coaching Federation

·       I feel shy and awkward sharing in these groups but I do it anyway and have shared a lot more

·       I texted daily with my cousins and sister as support to our cousin Debbie who was battling cancer

·       I took a flamenco dance class for two semesters and was in a recital even though I felt inept

Looking over my list fuels faith in myself in regard to accomplishing personal goals. I can see I am making the people in my life a priority. That means a lot to me, because one of my goals for this new year is to reach out to people I think about but haven’t connected with in a long while.  

My other major goal for 2023 is developing my coaching/speaking practice to support others in being their strongest selves and creating their most love-filled lives. I have a lot of self-doubt around networking and marketing. Yet, seeing that I put myself out to join and participate in groups that matter to me, even though I was uncomfortable, boost my confidence that I can also get more comfortable marketing and networking. This is the gift of reflecting on the changes we’ve made that may be below our conscious awareness.

Practice #2 – Set Intentions

Once I’ve reflected on my growth in 2022, I write my major goal or intention on a notecard and post it where I will see it daily so that I saturate my consciousness with it. The goal statement is basically an affirmation that I write in the positive tense as though it’s already my reality. I include an uplifting feeling word to energize my faith in realizing my goal.

This is my intention/affirmation for 2023:

I feel so deeply gratified by my relationships and use my creative energies as a coach, speaker and writer to assist many open, motivated beings to live deeply fulfilling lives.

It is pinned to the drapes framing the window by my computer, taped to my bathroom mirror, and next to my bed.

There is amazing power to immersing your mind in repeating your goal/affirmation. Research shows that the subconscious believes whatever we feed it. As we repeatedly feed our subconscious our goal each time we gaze at our cards, we begin to feel as if it is already part of our life. We then are more inclined to take action to make it our reality. And, I have absolutely seen time and time again that the Universe supports us in lucky synchronicities to manifest our goal/affirmations.

Your Takeaways

1.     Do a reflection page on your accomplishments and personal changes in 2022. Write down every possible thing you can think of that you feel proud of. You will be amazed at all that you feel good energy about.  

2.     Review your list and reflect on what it confirms for you about your past success with your efforts. You may want to write a notecard as a reminder of the powers you bring to fulfilling this year’s goals.

3.     Create an intention/affirmation for your major goal in 2023. Include a feeling word that uplifts you and state it as if it’s already true beginning with the word I to own it.

4.     Write your intention/affirmation on an index card and post it in places you will read it daily. You are immersing your consciousness in believing whatever you want is possible.

5.     Act on your goal with ease and pleasure.

I would love to hear some of your accomplishments in 2022 that give you confidence and pride! We are in this together. I’d also love to hear what your goal intention is for 2023. I may be able to support you! Best, best of luck! You got this!!!

Want help kickstarting your goals for 2023? I’m offering a special coaching package for 6 sessions discounted for my readers! Email me at gail@uppcoach.com or text me at 609-306-4557.

Radiate Positivity: Your Influence is Greater than You Realize

Two months ago my baby cousin, Debbie died. I say baby because I am the oldest in our family and she was eleven years younger than me. She died under two months of turning 60 from a nasty cancer, multiple myeloma. I wanted to honor her life in some way because she was my angel cousin and fought with every fiber of her being to win her battle against cancer. Despite fear, worry and pain she kept showing up with the best attitude she could summon. And then it hit me! Amidst her struggles she sent me uplifting gifs (messages on pretty backgrounds) for me to share to inspire others. When I looked back on our texts, I discovered she sent me 68 inspirational quotes from 2020 to 2022! To honor Debbie, I decided to post one a day on Facebook for 68 days. Day 17 struck me as a message to explore. On a background looking like sun rays it read: RADIATE POSITIVITY.  

I asked myself what is the underlying importance of radiating positivity? The underpinnings of it are the strongest motivating force in my life. Something we don’t usually give thought to.

You Influence Far More than You May Fathom

Maybe it was growing up in an extended family where words could wound or make you glow. Maybe it was appreciating and striving to be like the positive role models in my life. And maybe it was being a teacher and mother and seeing the evidence right in front of my eyes. How my recognition of children’s strengths helped them move through their lives more confidently. I realized my thoughts, words and actions had impact.

Each of us have impact, whether we realize it or not. As poet Mary Oliver says in her inspiring line, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Choice. It’s such a big thing. As a growing developing person, we each choose personal aspirations. Dreams and goals we wish to actualize. But there’s more. We are part of communities. Communities that start with our family. Our neighbors. Our friends. Our co-workers. Strangers. How do we want to use our one wild and precious life as a person who influences everyone we come in contact with?

Radiate Positivity

My cousin Debbie would say, “Radiate Positivity.” Such a simple thing that we are in great need of right now in our country and world. We can be a source of uplift wherever we are with a smile. When I do my morning walks and I see someone across the street I make eye contact and smile. I feel gratified when I see my smile spread to their face as well. A simple thing like a smile makes us feel connected and less alone. It radiates positivity.

Taking the opportunity to uplift a step further, our words have such an impact on others. My husband, Gus is taking an art class pursuing a hobby he’s long been interested in. He brings home a canvas of a lake scene in lovely blues, and yellows and greens. I comment on how his trees are reflected so well in the water. How the shading of the grasses gives dimensionality. He beams. I speak my words to encourage and flame his passion. Our dear friends Ira and Diane are moving across the country. When we have a going away dinner for them, in a toast I affirm them as a couple and as individuals to let them know how much they are valued. Everyone else chimes in and the good feelings are palpable in the laughter and smiles. Expressed feelings radiates positivity.

How much better our world would be if we each recognized the gift of our humanity to be a positive influence in the world. I will tell you each time I make someone’s day with an affirming word, a smile, letting someone in my traffic lane, lending a caring listening ear, I feel happier and more worthwhile.

It’s never too late to be a positive influence. It’s a choice we get to make in every present moment we’re in the company of others. So I say choose to radiate positivity! Our world needs it now desperately!

Your Takeaways

1.     Every morning and every interaction is an opportunity to set an intention to choose to be a positive influence and radiate positivity.

2.     Before you speak or act get into the habit of asking yourself, will this statement add to or take away from the person?

3.     A smile, a positive thought, a kind action spreads positive energy.

4.     Recognizing our positive impact in the world also reminds us our life has value.

5.     To immerse yourself in the mindset of radiating positivity I encourage you to read my book, The Affirming Way of Life: See the Good, Speak the Good, Spread the Good. I wrote it as my legacy to help others find greater love and joy in their relationships by sharing their positive thoughts and feelings more freely.

With Thanksgiving around the corner, why not choose to use your one wild and precious life to radiate positivity to your loved ones and all!

If you know someone who could benefit from this blog please do share. Together we can radiate positivity!

Have You Been Shoulding on Yourself? A Fresh Perspective on How Your Words Affect You

We’re having a new closet system put into our walk-in closet next week. I just got so sick of seeing the piles of clothing on the floor, and the shelves overflowing to the ceiling, that I said, “Gail, make the investment!” In the process my husband Gus and I have given away at least 10 big black garbage bags of clothing and it feels so good! As we looked at item by item, I thought of Marie Kondo, the famed declutterer, and her simple statement “Does it spark joy?” It was just so clear which clothes didn’t bring us good energy.

Clothes shedding made me think of another purge I’ve been engaged in, inwardly. The purge of words. A while back I read a book, in which a particular idea stuck with me—our words create our reality. I’ve pondered this quite a bit. The words we use to describe ourselves, our home, our loved ones, our work, our health… shape how we see our life, and what’s more how we live our life.

How Our Words Create Our Reality

I know this is true when I think about how specific words I say make me feel. One of my debilitating words is, “It’s hard for me to do.” That is my old go-to statement I make when I’m learning something new that’s challenging me. When I say it’s hard, I feel like a helpless child or a limp ragdoll. It literally drains me of all the strength and motivation I need for my challenge.

Research says, words resonate in our body as thoughts do. When we use a word, we’re in effect ingesting them into our system. Like food, our words can nourish or poison us. In a sense our words become our biology and affect us mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

My word purge began organically with a simple verb—SHOULD.  When I hear myself say things like, “I should exercise…,” “I should get off the phone…,” “I should go to bed by 9:45…,” “I should make dinner…” I feel drained and almost like a child having a tantrum beating their fists on the floor screaming, “but I don’t want to!”  Should is a word that summons guilt. It reminds us of the commitments we are trying to keep to ourselves, but that we just don’t feel like doing in the moment! Isn’t that so true of so many of our best habits. We know our habits are good for us, or necessary to be good to our loved ones, but we don’t always feel the motivation to do them.

From this perspective should guides us to do healthy positive behaviors. The problem is it’s like a parent with the best intentions, who criticizes their child to motivate them to be their best selves. The child ends up feeling bad about themselves and may even do the opposite. Guilt drains our energy. Which may make it even harder to act on our good intentions. And as neuroscience explains, when we feel the emotion of guilt it triggers a well-worn path in our brains of other experiences of guilt, flooding us with disempowering thoughts and memories.

Here's an alternative to should and guilt. When you hear yourself say, I should…, stop yourself in your tracks, and say, I get to… or I want to… or I will. Here’s what it would sound like:

·       I get to exercise…

·       I want to go to bed by 9:45…

·       I will make dinner…

These alternative phrases remind you of the privilege and opportunity it is to do the things you care about and are committed to even when you don’t feel like it. It’s a positive internal shift of perspective on our commitments to ourselves and our dear ones.

For me it’s a wonderful empowering shake-up. Yes, Gail, how lucky you are to get to exercise. You have the time, the health, it energizes you, and keeps your weight in check! Try it and see for yourself.

Your Takeaways

1.     Notice the energy zapping word you want to replace. Besides should, it might be have to, must, ought to.

2.     Play a game with yourself and each time you hear your disempowering word in your spoken or inner language, stop it in its tracks! You might say to it, STOP, don’t go there!

3.     Replace your energy zapping word with an empowering word, like I get to, I want to, or I will.

4.     Recognize you’re reprogramming your mind, body, emotions and spirit by a word choice that opens positive energy to flow through you.

WHY NOT take control of your well-being with a healthy word choice diet!

I have a small request. If you read my blog and enjoy any part of it, could you send me a comment? One line would be fine! I write with the intent to support you and all my readers in living your most positive healthy life. I’d love to know if I’m making a difference. Thanks much, I so appreciate you are out there and we are connected in beinging our best and spreading the best in our world together!