2 Ways to Gather Positive Energy to Fulfill Your Goals in 2023

I am a New Years junkie. I get all excited with the opportunity for a fresh beginning. Most of us have goals we want to achieve; changes we want to make.  It’s our human nature to change and grow even if we’re not consciously aware of it. Working toward goals and making positive changes gives zest to our life. Goals like losing weight, exercising more, taking up a new hobby, doing a major project, connecting more with friends and family. The problem that many of us know too well with New Year’s resolutions, is that by the second or third week of January we’ve already given up on them. Why is that?

When I thought of writing this blog, my intention was to boost your positive energy around goal setting and goal fulfillment. I write for you what I need as well. Some goals are easier for us to make happen. Others we need extra confidence to tackle.

I have two simple practices to share that can help you jump start your 2023 with positive energy to support you in realizing your goals.

Practice #1 – Reflection on Your 2022 Accomplishments

Many of us accomplish much more than we realize. We make subtle positive changes we don’t even recognize. We’re so busy living, planning, and doing that we don’t usually pause and take stock of how successful our efforts have actually been. Pausing to reflect on our small and large accomplishments in 2022 can fuel our faith in ourselves that we can accomplish whatever it is we desire in this new year of positive possibilities. Here’s how I do it.

I open my journal to a fresh page and title it My Accomplishments in 2022. Any sheet of paper will do, or the computer, voice memo or notes on your phone, your choices for recording are unlimited.

I’m generous with myself about what I call an accomplishment. Developing a new positive habit (no matter how slight), ways I’ve helped others, fun experiences I’ve had, maintaining good habits, promises I’ve kept – basically any goal or change I’ve wanted to make.

Here’s some of mine that give me good energy:

·       I affirm and appreciate my husband, Gus daily to water our closeness with love

·       I don’t chastise myself for making mistakes anymore! (This one was huge. For all my positivity, I have an unrelenting inner critic.)

·       I consistently walk weekly with my friend Naomi and speak weekly to Lynnie in CA

·       I joined A Course in Miracles group of like-minded spiritual seekers and attend weekly meetings

·       I keep developing my coaching skills by reading books, took a course with Marcia Reynolds, and joined International Coaching Federation

·       I feel shy and awkward sharing in these groups but I do it anyway and have shared a lot more

·       I texted daily with my cousins and sister as support to our cousin Debbie who was battling cancer

·       I took a flamenco dance class for two semesters and was in a recital even though I felt inept

Looking over my list fuels faith in myself in regard to accomplishing personal goals. I can see I am making the people in my life a priority. That means a lot to me, because one of my goals for this new year is to reach out to people I think about but haven’t connected with in a long while.  

My other major goal for 2023 is developing my coaching/speaking practice to support others in being their strongest selves and creating their most love-filled lives. I have a lot of self-doubt around networking and marketing. Yet, seeing that I put myself out to join and participate in groups that matter to me, even though I was uncomfortable, boost my confidence that I can also get more comfortable marketing and networking. This is the gift of reflecting on the changes we’ve made that may be below our conscious awareness.

Practice #2 – Set Intentions

Once I’ve reflected on my growth in 2022, I write my major goal or intention on a notecard and post it where I will see it daily so that I saturate my consciousness with it. The goal statement is basically an affirmation that I write in the positive tense as though it’s already my reality. I include an uplifting feeling word to energize my faith in realizing my goal.

This is my intention/affirmation for 2023:

I feel so deeply gratified by my relationships and use my creative energies as a coach, speaker and writer to assist many open, motivated beings to live deeply fulfilling lives.

It is pinned to the drapes framing the window by my computer, taped to my bathroom mirror, and next to my bed.

There is amazing power to immersing your mind in repeating your goal/affirmation. Research shows that the subconscious believes whatever we feed it. As we repeatedly feed our subconscious our goal each time we gaze at our cards, we begin to feel as if it is already part of our life. We then are more inclined to take action to make it our reality. And, I have absolutely seen time and time again that the Universe supports us in lucky synchronicities to manifest our goal/affirmations.

Your Takeaways

1.     Do a reflection page on your accomplishments and personal changes in 2022. Write down every possible thing you can think of that you feel proud of. You will be amazed at all that you feel good energy about.  

2.     Review your list and reflect on what it confirms for you about your past success with your efforts. You may want to write a notecard as a reminder of the powers you bring to fulfilling this year’s goals.

3.     Create an intention/affirmation for your major goal in 2023. Include a feeling word that uplifts you and state it as if it’s already true beginning with the word I to own it.

4.     Write your intention/affirmation on an index card and post it in places you will read it daily. You are immersing your consciousness in believing whatever you want is possible.

5.     Act on your goal with ease and pleasure.

I would love to hear some of your accomplishments in 2022 that give you confidence and pride! We are in this together. I’d also love to hear what your goal intention is for 2023. I may be able to support you! Best, best of luck! You got this!!!

Want help kickstarting your goals for 2023? I’m offering a special coaching package for 6 sessions discounted for my readers! Email me at gail@uppcoach.com or text me at 609-306-4557.

5 Tips for Growing the Love in Your Relationship

“Don’t assume your partner knows all the ways that you love them. Sometimes they need to hear it! Loving out loud can build a healthy relationship..”

— John and Julie Gottman

I may be putting you on the spot, but have you in the past week told your partner how much they mean to you? I’m thinking of something from the heart like, “Knowing you’re there for me makes me feel so lucky and cared for.” Or a maybe a bit milder like, “I appreciate the way you put up with my meltdown the other day.”

If your answer is no, you’re not alone. Most of us assume our significant other knows how we feel about them so it’s not necessary to express our love or appreciation. Not true! Relationship experts John and Julie Gottman of the Gottman Institute say, “Don’t assume your partner knows all the ways that you love them. Sometimes they need to hear it! Loving out loud can build a healthy relationship.”

I can vouch for the Gottmans’ advice. Consciously choosing to shower my husband Gus with the positives I appreciate about him, rekindled our love and our relationship. If you’ve read my book, The Affirming Way of Life: See the Good, Speak the Good, Spread the Good, you know the story I tell in chapter one on how guilty I was of taking him for granted. We all do that from time to time or even more. Here are five simple tips to get you started creating more loving feelings in your relationship. And the beauty is these tips can get the love flowing with any special person in your life.

Five Tips for Growing the Love in Your Relationship

1.      Look with eyes that see the good. It’s so easy to focus on what’s missing with our loved one, rather than the good that’s there. Try making an intentional mindshift—notice the positives in your partner. My husband, Gus often empties the dishwasher, but leaves at least a quarter of it on the counter for me to put away. I feel the words brewing, How could you not know where these things go? You’re just making more work for me. But I immediately shift to positive thinking, I so appreciate that he empties the dishwasher. I hate doing it. I can count on him. So I say, “Thanks honey I really appreciate you emptying the dishwasher, it’s one of my least favorite jobs.” We share a warm moment.

2.      Express appreciation for who they are, not just what they do. Reflect on your partner’s characteristics that you admire and value. Our words about them shape their sense of self and impact the feel of our relationship. One of the things I appreciate most about Gus is how easy going he is. So I affirm him by saying, “I so appreciate that when I don’t feel like cooking you just say, ‘an omlet is fine.’ How lucky I am to have such an easy to please husband.”

3.      Be specific and sincere in your affirmations.  When we’re specific we give the other person something to hold onto. I’ve noticed when I would just say things like “You’re such a good husband or I love you,” Gus would ask, “Why?” I realize how important it is to be specific and of course to speak from the heart.

4.      Commit to affirm your significant other once a day. Like any good habit you want to develop, it takes repetition, commitment and practice. As you search daily for specific good things you can say to them, the good in them will become more of your focus. The most beautiful benefit is that in time your relationship will feel like the gift it can be!

5.      A Bonus: As you make a point of appreciating and affirming your partner, they may begin to do the same for you. It’s worked that way for us. Spread good energy in your relationship and you’ll find unexpected silver linings.

James Taylor is my favorite go-to artist when I want to get in a mellow, happy state of mind. He says it the best in his song, Shower the People:

Shower the people you love with love

Show them the way that you feel

Things are gonna work out fine

If you only will

 

Wishing you a wonderful month of showering the people you love with love! Please share this link now with someone who needs this message!

My book is available on Amazon.

Think Before You Speak – 5 Tips

“Words have weight. They carry energy and give language its potential to heal or hurt.”

— Madison Taylor

Do you ever wonder like me, where was my head when I said that?  The other night our son, Theo and his bride-to-be, Sarah, were over for dinner. At the end of the meal, as I was boiling water for tea in my electric kettle, I said to my husband, Gus, “Honey, just a reminder, when you use this kettle be sure it’s far away from the cabinets.” (I’ll admit I had an edge to my voice.)

“I always am careful with that.”

“I’m mentioning it because the other day when you were boiling water for me, I saw the steam bathing the cabinets.”

“Well it wasn’t me doing it,” he answered defensively.

Back and forth we went. I saw Sarah get quiet and duck her head to avoid our unnecessary line of fire. Her expression said it all to me. Awkward! Oh, Gail, you didn’t think before you spoke!

By the time Sarah and Theo left it was late, and I knew better than to broach the disagreement then. The next morning I kissed Gus’s cheek and said, “Sorry about last night.”

Kindly he said, “It would have been fine if you’d said it to me privately, but you embarrassed me saying it in front of Sarah.”

In the past I would have beaten myself up for being inconsiderate, but because I’ve been working on showing more empathy to myself I thought, it’s OK Gail, you weren’t thinking of the consequences of your words. You’ll do better next time.

And the crazy thing is, I consciously censor my thoughts before they leave my lips, yet I still at times blurt unnecessary or insensitive words.

How about you. Can you relate?

Psychologists say that it’s common to speak without thinking to our loved ones. One of the benefits of long-term relationships is feeling we can just be our full self. We assume they’ll understand where we’re coming from and not be offended. Not true!

Five Tips for Speaking With More Care

1.      Include the other in your mind before you speak – usually when we speak we’re just thinking of our own feelings and perspective. Embrace the other’s feelings and point of view and consider them as important as your own. When we regard others with more care, it guides us in speaking with more care.

2.      Ask yourself, Will this help or hurt?  Reflect on what you’re about to say. Often our brain is spinning thoughts and our words just blurt out without considering their impact. Slow yourself down before you speak and ask this question as your own friendly inner censor.

3.      Ask yourself, Is what I’m about to say meaningful or relevant to the other person?  If not don’t say it. This is particularly relevant with texting. Often I delete whole statements before I send them realizing its unnecessary information for the other.

4.      Become the observer of your speech. Make it a habit of noticing what you say and how it impacts others. We have the power to manage our thoughts and speech to have a positive impact on others and our relationship with them.

5.      Include affirmations in your conversations. Create positive feelings in your relationships by noticing the good stuff you see in or feel about the person and tell them. When my husband vulnerably told me I embarrassed him, I said, “Thank you honey for being so real and open with me. I am so blessed to have you as my husband.” My affirmation added back some good energy to our relationship.

It’s such a small thing to pause a moment to consider how your words will be received. And it’s such a big thing to say less and care more! Wishing you a wonderful month of positive communicating and connecting!

The Affirming Way of Life: See the Good, Speak the Good, Spread the Good is available at Amazon. May it support you in living your best most fulfilling life!