There’s no better time than Thanksgiving month to open our hearts and minds to the gift of gratitude. Yes, gratitude is the simple key to celebrate all the good that we just haven’t had eyes to see. It’s even more inviting to explore gratitude when you learn from the Harvard Medical School Bulletin that gratitude is consistently associated with greater happiness, improved health, stronger relationships, and the ability to deal with adversity.
Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether materially or emotionally. When grateful, we recognize the goodness we are receiving comes from outside ourselves. It may be from nature, a higher power, or other people. Each of these sources are essential. But for Thanksgiving month I want to focus on gratitude for other people.
What would our lives be without the people that love and accept us as we are? Their care and support are what sustain us. But how often do we pause to appreciate how much the people in our lives mean to us?
A Personal Story About Appreciating Our People
Recently, I had a big birthday. Frankly the number wowed me! I thought how can I be that old? Reaching this age (aren’t you curious what it is) I wanted to gather all the people I consider my tribe together to celebrate with me. Unfortunately, because of Covid, I limited the party to 30, outdoors on my deck. Acknowledging milestones with words has always been important to me, so for weeks leading up to the party I reflected on the people I invited and how much they meant to me and helped shape my life.
I call my husband, my sister, and my son—my triumvirate. They are my people who see my strengths and affirm me for them. They make me feel good about being myself and accept my less than stellar traits. They encourage me when I’m reaching for a goal and make me feel loved and appreciated. So, I said exactly that to each of them personally then publicly at my party.
Not everyone is comfortable expressing their appreciation to others. Here’s how I said it to my husband as an example: “Honey, on turning ___, I paused to reflect on my gifts, and you were right there at the top. I’m so grateful for the way you love me and appreciate me just for being me. I feel so supported by your encouragement with my goals. I am blessed with you.” Any one of the statements I made would be enough.
Reflecting on the goodness my extended family and friends bring to my life, I realize they are each a positive influence and support me in creating a life I love. My cousins are models of family devotion and raising kids well. My friends have inspired me to write my book, travel, enjoy theatre, love outdoor adventures, be a good listener and communicator, be assertive and strong, have a good marriage, and they too make me feel loved and valued. So, at my party, I thanked them all with a grateful heart. Joy abounded.
Appreciation, A Gift to the Giver and the Receiver
Pausing to appreciate the people who most touch our life begins as a gift for ourselves. When I reflected on the goodness my family and friends brought into my life, I felt mightily blessed. How often do we stop and appreciate the difference someone makes in our life? Not very often for most of us. We’re too busy living and managing responsibilities or mulling over grievances in our minds. We’re human. A grateful pause gets us to stop and savor the good ways others affect us that often go unnoticed and unacknowledged.
When we express our discovered appreciation the gift quadruples. You now get to be the conveyer of a gift more precious than jewelry or some new tech item. Appreciative words say to the receiver, you matter. Your life has value to me. Our words become a gift they can hold within their heart and repeat to themselves when they need a little uplift. But there’s further benefits for you! As you express your appreciation, you re-experience the joy of the goodness they bring and over time continuing to express appreciation makes your relationship warmer and closer. I can vouch for what I’m saying!
My November Tips for You
Appreciate two people to make it doable.
1. Choose a person you see every day or often and reflect on the goodness they bring into your life. Do they do things that make your life easier? Do they uplift you with their humor or positivity? Do you feel valued by them? Can you count on them? Are they comforting or make you feel secure? Do you have fun with them? Take in the good they bring whatever it is and be bold and tell them. Savor the joy of sharing your appreciation.
2. Choose another person that you might not see often that has had an important impact on your life. Take in the goodness they’ve brought then call, email, send a card, or visit and share your appreciation.
I’m hoping taking the grateful pause and expressing appreciation feels so good that it becomes a part of your life. There’s so much to be grateful for—this month choose people. Wishing you and your family health and happiness and grateful time together this Thanksgiving.
I want to hear from you! How has appreciating a loved one or a person who’s made a difference in your life touched your heart?
The Affirming Way of Life is a perfect Thanksgiving gift to let someone know how much you appreciate them!
