What’s Stuck with You in 2020? Positive Prep for 2021

heavy, deep snow and our front door was blocked by vast whiteness. With bright, yellow snow shovel in hand, I plugged away at clearing the walk to our door. The problem was, with each shovel-full, half the snow wouldn’t fling away. It remained stuck to the shovel. Banging its edge numerous times on the cement, a beautiful insight began dawning. Hmm. How has 2020 been a wet and heavy snow? And what has stuck with me in a good way during this bleak time of Covid-19 and political upheaval? (I excitedly posted this query first to my Facebook friends if any of you saw it.)

What’s Stuck in A Good Way

I’m thinking of the adaptations I made to continue living peacefully, lovingly, and joyfully. And adaptation is the word! Its definition is a light bulb of what we all have been called to do in 2020: adaptation - the physical or behavioral characteristic of an organism that helps it survive better in its surrounding environment.

The fundamental adaptation that has enabled me to make the best of 2020 is focusing on all I still have.

Most thankfully my loved ones and I are healthy and well. We have our home and plenty of food and toilet paper! I can still take daily walks in the surrounding neighborhoods (mask ready when other walkers are on the street) I can still visit with friends thanks to Zoom, and have actually rekindled and deepened friendships because our weekly visits mean so much more now that our movement out in the world is limited. I can still learn and grow thanks to Zoom and the internet. I decided to take a leap and train as a life coach to develop my skills to more deeply assist others to grow, find fulfillment, balance and joy. Though the course is out of CA my instructor is in NYC. I am amazed! I’ll be certified in February.

And out of all this comes a feeling of deep gratitude. That’s what sticks with me.  Gratitude for all I get to savor. Before Covid I dashed about in my life.

Busily.

Quickly.

 Far and wide.

 Being restricted has stretched me to savor all that’s in my own backyard (as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz might say.)

Nature. My husband. My sister. My son. My friendships. The gift of food.

Here’s the difference: I savor moments that before I dismissed as commonplace; ordinary.

Eating home has been heightened to a new level. Since we can’t go out to restaurants for an uplift, I’ve made meals as deliciously and beautifully as I can to transport my husband and me. Eating on our deck in the past was occasional. But this summer, as we dined outside watching the sky turn shades of pink, I felt just as elevated as if we were in Greece or Italy.

What sticks with me is—it’s all in our perception. If we look with eyes for beauty and all that’s good, that’s what we see. If we treasure our relationships and fully appreciate our dear ones, we can feel quite lucky.

• How about YOU? What positives stick with you from these Covid times? What adaptations have you made to make the most of your life now? What new habits have YOU developed that have brought you peace and pleasure in our more restricted lifestyle?

  
  Taking What’s Stuck into 2021

Now I’m thinking of the word intention and how impactful our intentions are. The definition of intention: a determination to act in a certain way; resolve.

My intention is to take what’s stuck with me –to savor all I have and get to do into 2021.

When I’m eating dinner with Gus, I want to enjoy the conversation, truly listen to him, and appreciate the full flavor of the meal. (Instead of the way I pre-Covid, slapped together a meal which we often ate in front of the TV.)

When I’m studying coaching, my intention is to revel in the new knowledge I’m acquiring and how much I’ll be able to support others in their growth. (Instead of angsting, as I tend to, about my ability to learn it all.)

I will continue my weekly rituals with friends that I’ve forged during Covid times, cherishing our deepening relationships.

• What good rituals from these Covid times do you want to bring into 2021?

  
  As we end 2020, I want to thank you my dear blog readers, for being part of my learning community. I so appreciate your responses to my musings and ideas, you spur me on to spread the good through my blog and work. If even one blog gave you an insight, comfort, or a positive action to take—I am deeply gratified.

Wishing you and your loved ones the healthiest most positive 2021!

A small request: If you’ve enjoyed my blogs please share right now with someone who you think could benefit from them. I appreciate you helping me in my mission to SPREAD THE GOOD!      

The Affirming Way of Life is available in Kindle version and book at Amazon.

Reset, Rethink, Regather

For days I had called BJ’s to see if their shipment for Fiji water was in. I had made two trips for naught, and a manager kindly suggested I call rather than make another wasted trip.

“They’re in,” said Meghan. “How many cases would you like me to pull for you?”

“Three would be great. You’re a darling!” I effused.

In the store, with my three cases of precious alkaline water (recommended by the Ayurvedic practitioner helping me to heal digestive issues) I asked Meghan one more favor.

“Could you please find someone to help me put the Fiji water cases into my car.”

“Sure no problem. There he is. Anthony, please help this lady get her purchases to the car.”

What a delightful surprise I received at 8:45 AM.

“Good morning Miss! And how are you on this blessed day?” he asked. His whole face smiled, even though partially covered by his light blue paper mask.

“How beautiful it is to be greeted with such positivity so early in the morning!”

“Well, it’s TGIF and as long as I am here and can work it’s a great day.”

Wow, I thought, such a precious young man he is. I want to let him know that his good energy is a gift to others.

As we walked together to my car I asked, “Anthony, how did you get to become such a positive person?”

“Well it’s just my spirit I’d say.”

“Tell me more about the influences in your life,” (I was using my newly learned coaching skills.)

“Well. I had no father and was raised by my mother. She taught my brother and me that if we work hard and always be the best person we can be things will work out.”

“Tell me your visions for your life,” I say.  In our brief connection, I wanted to support this young man in fulfilling his dreams.

“My brother and I are starting small selling our own home cooked chicken. McDonald’s started small and look where they are now,” he said exuberantly. “When I get discouraged I just say to myself, RESET, RETHINK, REGATHER.”

“Wow! That’s such a positive phrase, tell me more.”

“I reset my mind on my dream, I rethink what I need to do to get there, and I regather my energy to keep moving forward.”

“Anthony what a positive mindset you have! With your vision and heart I can see you fulfilling your dream. For your help and inspiring tip, I’d love to give you a tip.”

We each left touched.

Anthony’s Tip in Action

I’m writing this blog with immediacy. Anthony’s mantra is a great way to refocus ourselves when our spirits are down. RESET, RETHINK, REGATHER.

I went home and wrote those 3 R’s on a notecard and pinned it on a drape by my writing desk to absorb into my psyche. A new tool for my mental toolbox.

Here’s a way I used Anthony’s 3 R’s a couple of days later.

Listening to a coaching video on YouTube, I learned that it’s best to differentiate a niche or specialty for the services you offer. That’s so tricky! My specialty is in helping others connect in their relationships more deeply, as I wrote about in my book, The Affirming Way of Life: See the Good, Speak the Good, Spread the Good. But as a friend pointed out, calling myself a relationship coach sounds like I’m a marital coach. Not the limitation I want. Darn! Unwanted adrenalin pumped in my stomach and my heart fluttered disturbingly. My trigger, an overwhelm response, kicked in, but….thanks to Anthony’s mantra I regathered myself.

Ok, Gail. Reset your thoughts on the big picture that you will be helping people with the wonderful coaching skills you’re learning. You can rethink your niche by doing research on the many coaching specialties there are and find what seems to be a good match with your skills and expertise.

Breathe in…breathe out.

Ahhhhh, I feel so much better. The pause to reset my attention on what mattered and what I could do, was just what I needed to regather my positive, forward moving energy.

Your Takeaways

• Being mindful of our emotions creates an opportunity for us to regather our energy and focus it positively.

• Having a mantra whether it be Anthony’s reset, rethink, regather or your own favorite, is a useful tool for shifting our mind frame and our emotions.

• Hanging a notecard with your mind-shifting mantra where you will see it often will help you internalize it so it’s right there in your thoughts when you need it.

Isn’t it exciting to recognize we have the power to manage our thoughts and feelings!

If you enjoyed this blog, my book The Affirming Way of Life: See the Good, Speak the Good, Spread the Good, expands upon how to bring positivity to our relationships and life. It’s available at Amazon.

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You are an Influence –Share Your Gifts

“You two have totally shaped the course of my life,” I said with deep awe. “I am so moved to be in the same room with both of you.”

That’s what I wish I said at a recent reunion with two extraordinary life-influencers. Actually I was enjoying the moment so much I didn’t even think to put my feelings in words.

 Selma, (now 91 and sharper than some 30 year olds), was my college professor. She was the only educator I can recall, that saw my talents and encouraged me. She introduced me to my school district (at the time, the most innovative child-centered around) where I would impact at least a thousand students and form most of my lifelong friendships.

Jamie (who I met through Selma) was the door-opener to my two careers. It was she who recommended me for the interview in that school district, where I would nurture the talents of my students for 38 years. And it was she, who when I was ready to publish my book, The Affirming Way of Life: See the Good, Speak the Good, Spread the Good, who generously guided and inspired me in my second career as a writer-publisher, speaker and coach.

How grateful I am for Selma and Jamie’s profound influence on the unfolding of my life. How about you. Who’s deeply affected your life for the better?

You are an Influence

We all influence and are influenced every day of our lives. Some influences are momentary, some last the day, and some last a lifetime. Influences can be positive or at times devastatingly destructive. But how often do we even think of how we influence?

Yet influence others we do. With our words, our actions, our habits, our ideas.

A smile, a helpful idea, a truly listening ear, encouragement, a ride to the doctor’s office, a kind affirming word…we influence.

I think of Mary Oliver’s beautiful last line of the poem, “The Summer’s Day” with influence in mind.

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

To me, to be a positive influence is to make the most of our one precious life.

Here’s What Influence Looks Like

When I was writing my book, there was a time I felt like I was scaling a mountain and I didn’t have the stamina to keep going. That peak was way too far out of sight. But then unaware of my discouragement, my son, Theo says, “Mom, seeing your determination in fulfilling your goal, makes me believe I too can accomplish my goals.” Wow! Knowing I was his influence, no matter how much effort it took I had to publish my book. Mutual influence.

A letter I received from a parent at the end of a school year, confirmed I was fulfilling my mission as a teacher. Karen said, “You have seen Johnny’s uniqueness and talents and have helped him see them too. And the amazing thing about you is that you do that with every student. We are eternally grateful.” Her letter about my influence, inspired me at a time when I was having doubts. Hearing I was indeed making a difference made a difference to me and all the students whose lives I touched. Mutual influence.

The one positive person my brother-in-law had in his life growing up was his grandpa. Every weekend Gramps would take George fishing. When George married my sister, Gramps would rent a house on a lake for a family fishing week. Now George and Lois have their own lake house and boat. George’s joy and peace and happiest moments are at the lake, fishing with his own grandkids. Mutual Influence.

Share Your Gifts

Each of us has many gifts to share. Whatever they are they matter. My niece’s husband influenced by his dad, is big-hearted and handy building things. His gifts bring much joy to the family. A friend, committed to recovery for over 30 years, inspires countless others through his leadership in Alcoholics Anonymous.

I discovered my outstanding gift in an epiphany on my 50th birthday. I realized my best trait is that I look with eyes to see the best in others and generously tell them. I learned my gift from my mother’s example. Seeing the warm affect affirming has on each and every relationship, I wrote my book to share my gift far and wide.

Choosing to be a positive influence with our unique gifts gives our life meaning.

 We get to see that our life here on Earth matters.

Your Takeaways

• What talents or natural capabilities can you share to support others and be a positive influence?

• Become an influence observer. How are others impacting you? If it’s positive affirm them for it. How are you influencing others? Are you comfortable with your impact?

• Choose to be a positive influence with your closest people and everyone you come in contact with.

NOW MORE THAT EVER THE WORLD NEEDS YOUR POSITIVE INFLUENCE AND GOOD ENERGY. SPREAD THE GOOD!

My award-winning, paperback book is available at Amazon for $14.99 and the ebook for $7.99. If you haven’t already read it, it can help you connect with more love, acceptance and joy to yourself and all others.

If you enjoyed this blog, share with friends on social media and email. I appreciate your help spreading the good!