Inspiration

A Pleasure Routine for 2021

While walking with a friend on the Spring Lake boardwalk, she described the most delightful routine. She said every day in the late afternoon, she crawls into bed and spends an hour reading, listening to podcasts, or doing crossword puzzles.

“That is so cozy and self-nuturing,” I effused. “You have a pleasure routine.”

“I love that Gail! There’s a blog topic you can support others with.

The reason I was so excited by a pleasure routine is that I have become a workaholic! It’s a strange thing for a retired person to say, but I hear myself frequently saying, “I’m working on… or I have to get back to work…. Crazy! I am a lover of routines, and my work routine takes up a big chunk of my day. Maybe a little too big.

Routines as an Anchor

Routines give us a sense of order and well-being. They anchor us in ourselves. I begin my day stretching and meditating followed by a walk. Self-care routines create a feeling of peace and well-being. They can even boost our confidence because we are making good choices. Doing well, as my dad would say. 

Then it’s to my writing room I go to do the work I’ve chosen to do, as a retired person. I can sit at my computer from nearly 10-5 doing my new work—writing this blog, coaching, studying writing and coaching, preparing talks, and marketing (my least favorite and biggest learning curve area.) Working on my new careers/hobbies gives my life purpose and meaning.

For 42 years as an educator, I focused on helping students discover their talents, confidence, and a passion for learning. I loved my days with the kids and the honor of making a positive difference in their lives. And now I get to follow my new passion helping adults create deeper fulfillment in every area of their life. The problem is during these pandemic times I’m just working too much!

The definition of work: activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result.

That’s me! I am driven to be productive toward my purpose—all day. I love what I do, but my conversation with my friend signaled to me I am craving a little more down time.

Can you relate? Do you find yourself focused on things that are work to you and don’t indulge often enough in simple things that give you pleasure?

A Pleasure Routine is Like Being on Vacation

my friend, I love reading. I read in dribs and drabs throughout my day—the news on my ipad at breakfast, a personal growth book during lunch, a novel before bed. But it’s short bursts 15 minutes at a shot.

The only time I indulge in escaping pleasurably into a book is on vacation with my sister Lois, at her lake house. We are island-bound without a boat. We spend all afternoon sitting in green Adirondack chairs on her narrow, weathered dock reading, chatting, cooling off in the refreshing water, and reading some more. It feels as relaxing as a day at the spa.

That’s the kind of pleasure routine I’d like to create—a time allotted not to do what’s good for me, not to work on my mission, not to be productive—just to do something for the pure pleasure of it.

Choosing a Pleasure Routine

Thinking of a pleasure routine as a vacation-state-of-mind, I think immediately of two things I’d love to do—dance and extended reading (as you already know.) Dancing gets me in a rhythmic flow and the music lifts my spirits. (It also transports me to my high school dancing-queen self.) Reading for extended time will allow me to escape into another world. Because I’m so cerebral, my pleasure routine will get me out of my thoughts and well, be a pleasure!

I’m committing to indulge in my pleasures four days a week, Monday thru Thursday from 4:00-5:00 PM. Ten minutes dancing, 40-50 minutes reading.

How about you? What would you like to indulge in a number of times a week for pure relaxation and pleasure? Is there something you love to do but can’t seem to find time for? Even 10-15 minutes of time to do something that takes you out of your mind and responsibilities can give you pleasure. We’re worth it, aren’t we?

It’s About Balance

Creating a balanced life of care—for our health and well-being, our home and loved ones, our friendships, and work that gives our life meaning and purpose, brings tremendous peace and empowerment. We don’t always have the luxury to balance our life especially now during the pandemic.

But as you prioritize the use of your time I hope you’ll consider creating a pleasure routine to take better care of you!

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The Affirming Way of Life: See the Good, Speak the Good, Spread the Good is available at Amazon. May it support you in living your best most fulfilling life!

What’s Stuck with You in 2020? Positive Prep for 2021

heavy, deep snow and our front door was blocked by vast whiteness. With bright, yellow snow shovel in hand, I plugged away at clearing the walk to our door. The problem was, with each shovel-full, half the snow wouldn’t fling away. It remained stuck to the shovel. Banging its edge numerous times on the cement, a beautiful insight began dawning. Hmm. How has 2020 been a wet and heavy snow? And what has stuck with me in a good way during this bleak time of Covid-19 and political upheaval? (I excitedly posted this query first to my Facebook friends if any of you saw it.)

What’s Stuck in A Good Way

I’m thinking of the adaptations I made to continue living peacefully, lovingly, and joyfully. And adaptation is the word! Its definition is a light bulb of what we all have been called to do in 2020: adaptation - the physical or behavioral characteristic of an organism that helps it survive better in its surrounding environment.

The fundamental adaptation that has enabled me to make the best of 2020 is focusing on all I still have.

Most thankfully my loved ones and I are healthy and well. We have our home and plenty of food and toilet paper! I can still take daily walks in the surrounding neighborhoods (mask ready when other walkers are on the street) I can still visit with friends thanks to Zoom, and have actually rekindled and deepened friendships because our weekly visits mean so much more now that our movement out in the world is limited. I can still learn and grow thanks to Zoom and the internet. I decided to take a leap and train as a life coach to develop my skills to more deeply assist others to grow, find fulfillment, balance and joy. Though the course is out of CA my instructor is in NYC. I am amazed! I’ll be certified in February.

And out of all this comes a feeling of deep gratitude. That’s what sticks with me.  Gratitude for all I get to savor. Before Covid I dashed about in my life.

Busily.

Quickly.

 Far and wide.

 Being restricted has stretched me to savor all that’s in my own backyard (as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz might say.)

Nature. My husband. My sister. My son. My friendships. The gift of food.

Here’s the difference: I savor moments that before I dismissed as commonplace; ordinary.

Eating home has been heightened to a new level. Since we can’t go out to restaurants for an uplift, I’ve made meals as deliciously and beautifully as I can to transport my husband and me. Eating on our deck in the past was occasional. But this summer, as we dined outside watching the sky turn shades of pink, I felt just as elevated as if we were in Greece or Italy.

What sticks with me is—it’s all in our perception. If we look with eyes for beauty and all that’s good, that’s what we see. If we treasure our relationships and fully appreciate our dear ones, we can feel quite lucky.

  • How about YOU? What positives stick with you from these Covid times? What adaptations have you made to make the most of your life now? What new habits have YOU developed that have brought you peace and pleasure in our more restricted lifestyle?


    Taking What’s Stuck into 2021

Now I’m thinking of the word intention and how impactful our intentions are. The definition of intention: a determination to act in a certain way; resolve.

My intention is to take what’s stuck with me –to savor all I have and get to do into 2021.

When I’m eating dinner with Gus, I want to enjoy the conversation, truly listen to him, and appreciate the full flavor of the meal. (Instead of the way I pre-Covid, slapped together a meal which we often ate in front of the TV.)

When I’m studying coaching, my intention is to revel in the new knowledge I’m acquiring and how much I’ll be able to support others in their growth. (Instead of angsting, as I tend to, about my ability to learn it all.)

I will continue my weekly rituals with friends that I’ve forged during Covid times, cherishing our deepening relationships.

  • What good rituals from these Covid times do you want to bring into 2021?


    As we end 2020, I want to thank you my dear blog readers, for being part of my learning community. I so appreciate your responses to my musings and ideas, you spur me on to spread the good through my blog and work. If even one blog gave you an insight, comfort, or a positive action to take—I am deeply gratified.

Wishing you and your loved ones the healthiest most positive 2021!

A small request: If you’ve enjoyed my blogs please share right now with someone who you think could benefit from them. I appreciate you helping me in my mission to SPREAD THE GOOD!      

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The Affirming Way of Life is available in Kindle version and book at Amazon.

Reset, Rethink, Regather

For days I had called BJ’s to see if their shipment for Fiji water was in. I had made two trips for naught, and a manager kindly suggested I call rather than make another wasted trip.

“They’re in,” said Meghan. “How many cases would you like me to pull for you?”

“Three would be great. You’re a darling!” I effused.

In the store, with my three cases of precious alkaline water (recommended by the Ayurvedic practitioner helping me to heal digestive issues) I asked Meghan one more favor.

“Could you please find someone to help me put the Fiji water cases into my car.”

“Sure no problem. There he is. Anthony, please help this lady get her purchases to the car.”

What a delightful surprise I received at 8:45 AM.

“Good morning Miss! And how are you on this blessed day?” he asked. His whole face smiled, even though partially covered by his light blue paper mask.

“How beautiful it is to be greeted with such positivity so early in the morning!”

“Well, it’s TGIF and as long as I am here and can work it’s a great day.”

Wow, I thought, such a precious young man he is. I want to let him know that his good energy is a gift to others.

As we walked together to my car I asked, “Anthony, how did you get to become such a positive person?”

“Well it’s just my spirit I’d say.”

“Tell me more about the influences in your life,” (I was using my newly learned coaching skills.)

“Well. I had no father and was raised by my mother. She taught my brother and me that if we work hard and always be the best person we can be things will work out.”

“Tell me your visions for your life,” I say.  In our brief connection, I wanted to support this young man in fulfilling his dreams.

“My brother and I are starting small selling our own home cooked chicken. McDonald’s started small and look where they are now,” he said exuberantly. “When I get discouraged I just say to myself, RESET, RETHINK, REGATHER.”

“Wow! That’s such a positive phrase, tell me more.”

“I reset my mind on my dream, I rethink what I need to do to get there, and I regather my energy to keep moving forward.”

“Anthony what a positive mindset you have! With your vision and heart I can see you fulfilling your dream. For your help and inspiring tip, I’d love to give you a tip.”

We each left touched.

Anthony’s Tip in Action

I’m writing this blog with immediacy. Anthony’s mantra is a great way to refocus ourselves when our spirits are down. RESET, RETHINK, REGATHER.

I went home and wrote those 3 R’s on a notecard and pinned it on a drape by my writing desk to absorb into my psyche. A new tool for my mental toolbox.

Here’s a way I used Anthony’s 3 R’s a couple of days later.

Listening to a coaching video on YouTube, I learned that it’s best to differentiate a niche or specialty for the services you offer. That’s so tricky! My specialty is in helping others connect in their relationships more deeply, as I wrote about in my book, The Affirming Way of Life: See the Good, Speak the Good, Spread the Good. But as a friend pointed out, calling myself a relationship coach sounds like I’m a marital coach. Not the limitation I want. Darn! Unwanted adrenalin pumped in my stomach and my heart fluttered disturbingly. My trigger, an overwhelm response, kicked in, but….thanks to Anthony’s mantra I regathered myself.

Ok, Gail. Reset your thoughts on the big picture that you will be helping people with the wonderful coaching skills you’re learning. You can rethink your niche by doing research on the many coaching specialties there are and find what seems to be a good match with your skills and expertise.

Breathe in…breathe out.

Ahhhhh, I feel so much better. The pause to reset my attention on what mattered and what I could do, was just what I needed to regather my positive, forward moving energy.

Your Takeaways

  • Being mindful of our emotions creates an opportunity for us to regather our energy and focus it positively.

  • Having a mantra whether it be Anthony’s reset, rethink, regather or your own favorite, is a useful tool for shifting our mind frame and our emotions.

  • Hanging a notecard with your mind-shifting mantra where you will see it often will help you internalize it so it’s right there in your thoughts when you need it.

Isn’t it exciting to recognize we have the power to manage our thoughts and feelings!

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If you enjoyed this blog, my book The Affirming Way of Life: See the Good, Speak the Good, Spread the Good, expands upon how to bring positivity to our relationships and life. It’s available at Amazon.

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