One Game-Changing Tip to Stay Connected When Quarantined

See the good, speak the good, spread the good…we need to do this now more than ever. It’s been a year since my book, The Affirming Way of Life was published. Yay! From my first visions of the book and everyday, I picture my book helping to transform the way people express their hearts and deepen their connections. What in our lives is more important than the people we love? During our extended quarantine, unable to be with so many of the people who mean so much to us, we can spread the good by regularly reaching out with a call of words of appreciation from our heart.

A week ago, when I first became homebound, I was in a state of panic over everything from the stock market, to fear of losing our house, worry there’d be no way to get essentials for living, and the very worst—fear of losing loved ones. So I began texting people I love that I normally don’t reach out to. I discovered my way of dealing with fear is to take action. Before I got out of bed on day 2 of quarantine, I texted three people dear to me.

The first was my cousin Jodie’s grown daughter, Jessica. I texted her:

“Jess, love you so much. Sending you and your family blessings for health and safety at this crazy time . I so appreciate the special connection we have had your whole life. I am always so proud of you for everything you are!”

Jessica responded: “I passed my oral boards! Thank you for always rooting for me and believing in me. Passover at your house is my favorite holiday. Will miss you!”

The next day my friend Ann called me and before we hung up I said, “Talking to you is such a comfort. You’re like a bowl of delicious matzah ball soup.” She was thrilled with my words, and gave me an unexpected beautiful affirmation back.

A Way to Spread the Good

The joy shared gave me a mission: I would contact three different people every day to let them know how much they mean to me. It would give me a way to remain connected while I couldn’t actually be with others, and it distracted me from my fearful thoughts. And most importantly, it enables me to spread the good!

We all in moments of reflection say, “Life is short. I need to seize the moment to appreciate my loved ones.” But do we? We are usually so distracted with everyday living that we forget to treat our life and the people in it preciously. As Michael Singer, in The Untethered Soul says, “How much love could you give the ones you love, knowing it would be the last time you’d get to be with them? Think about what it would be like if you lived like that every moment.”

We have the time now, lots of time. Why not join me in spreading the good to all your relationships?

I’ve created a list of dates and the people I will contact each day (lists make me feel a sense of accomplishment). It makes me feel good seeing the people’s names and remembering the warm connection we shared when I called.  I also have a to-do notebook with a growing list of names of who I want to reach out to. It’s a project I feel good about and a simple way to support myself and feel like I’m doing something good in the world.  

Your Takeaways

• Make a list daily of three people in your life you love-value and want to let know how much they mean to you.

• Reach out with some normal conversation, but affirm them before you hang up.

• Try Face Time, Skype, or any of the other video ways to connect, so you feel like you’re actually together. I’m choosing Face Time as much as possible. Regular calls and texts are make just as much an impact.

• Be specific and sincere about what you value and appreciate about the person, and let the warmth you feel come through in your voice.

  
  

• Ask each person you reach out to, to reach out to three others daily. You’ll help me make my dream a reality and you will be making a difference even while you’re homebound.

Please share with me your stories of spreading the good. I’m here to help you share your love!

If I haven’t contacted you – do reach out to me. I promise to give you a personal affirmation from my heart!

Loving Parenting – Impacting Generations

Do you ever ponder the legacy you’re leaving? By legacy I mean the impact your life has on those whose lives you touch, especially your children, grandchildren, and any of the younger generation. I do. Frequently.  An unexpected phone call awakened me to the unimagined magnitude our impact can reach.

The Inspiring Conversation

The call was from Wes, my son, Theo’s best friend, who’s like a second son to me. I’d sent him a warm thank you note for his recent help creating a YouTube channel for me.

“Mrs. Sigg, I just wanted to tell you how happy I was to help, how much your note meant, and I want to apologize.”

Apologize? I was confused.

“I was short with you towards the end of our work session, and I was mad at myself for not having better control. I’d never want to offend you. You mean so much to me.” He then explained to me the reason for his reaction.

“I didn’t think a thing of it,” I responded. “I figured you had other work to move on to. But, I so appreciate you being so real and open with me about what was going on with you. The fact that you care enough to make things right with me, means the world to me. How lucky Theo and I am to have such a deep, loving connection with you.”

What Wes said next is the part that blew me away, and I gift to you.

“Both Theo and I communicate this way with you because you and Mr. Sigg, and my parents, have given us 100% pure, supportive love. You have allowed us to express our feeling and thoughts freely without censure. Loving acceptance sets the tone for open communication.

“The gift of being loving, non-judgmental parents will not only live on after you’re gone, but will ripple through generations to come far beyond our life and our kids’ lives.”

“Thank you, dear boy. You just gave me the most precious of gifts.” His depth of feeling, the thought of us all being gone (yikes!), and the long-range impact our lives indeed have, made me teary.

Your Takeaways

How often do we consider our legacy, the parts of us that will live on in others? What do you want your children and grandchildren to say they learned from you?

Spreading good, loving energy to others is the greatest gift we can offer—it’s what we’re here for. I thought about the qualities of love Wes recognized we offered him. Here’s my reflection on how Wes’s parents and Gus and I nurtured the boys to impact them to be aware, communicative loving young men. Why not consider making one of the following tips a habit starting today:

• Look with eyes for what’s best in your children, and tell them something positive you see in them every day, or each time you’re together.

• Accept your children for who they are and squash your judgments when they arise. Communicate the message, “I am in your corner and I have faith in you.”

• Take a sincere interest in their life. Listen fully when your child speaks. As the lyric from the musical Hamilton goes, “Say less, smile more.”

• Be real—express your own emotions, but not targeted at them. You will show them you’re human, and validate being open and expressive with emotions.  

• Love, love, love your children, your grandchildren, all the young ‘uns. Show your love. Love is the greatest power on earth!

So I say to you, why not begin thinking of your loving legacy today?

Offer Cookies

Who isn’t feeling all the negativity when you turn on the news these days. We’re angry, disgusted, disheartened and too often feeling it’s us vs them, whichever side of the aisle we’re on. But believe it or not, it’s in our hands to do something about that. In our own small way (which is bigger than we can imagine), we can be a stone that sends out ripples leading to waterfalls of change. Here’s a story from a friend to spark you.

Stop Kicking!

Jill and her eight-year-old granddaughter Abby were flying home from Texas after a happy and exhausting vacation with Abby’s cousins. Soon after they settled into their seats on the plane, Abby leaned over and said, “Grammy, the girl sitting behind me is kicking my seat and it’s uncomfortable.”

“Oh, be patient honey, I’m sure the girl is just getting comfortable and will stop any minute.”

“Grammy, she’s still kicking,” Abby complained at least three more times. So Jill did what any loving grandmother would do who also wanted a little peace on the flight—she intervened. Craning her head over the seat, Jill noticed that the little girl who was Abby’s age, was engaged in a workbook activity with her mom, while her own grandmother looked on. “Excuse me. I’m sure your little girl doesn’t realize it, but she’s kicking my granddaughter’s seat.” The mother glared icily chilling Jill to the bone.  

“Grammy she’s STILL kicking my seat.” Abby whined.

“Abby do you want to say something yourself?” So Abby got on her knees, looked over the seat and said, “Could you please just not kick my seat anymore?” With that the mother started yelling loud enough for the pilot to hear, “NO! She’s not kicking you and she’s not doing anything WRONG!”

The lady in the seat opposite Jill whispered over the aisle, “She must be from the other political party.” While Jill agreed, she felt bad about all the toxic, negative energy she was part of creating. She asked herself, what can I do here? She shifted her mind to look at the woman and the circumstances from a broader perspective. Jill thought, this mother and her daughter are probably just trying to get through the trip. I know the anxiety I cope with when flying, for the mother to react so strongly she must be anxious. I can see how much effort she’s put into making her daughter comfortable with the activities she’s brought for her. I want to do something to make peace…and then it came to her.

In her backpack was a package of chocolate chip cookies. Jill got out of her seat, and said to the mother, I have an extra pack of cookies for my granddaughter. Would your daughter like them?

“Thank you, that’s very nice,” said the mother, as her iciness began to thaw.  

The little girl’s grandmother responded immediately with apologetic gratitude. “This is my granddaughter’s first flight. It’s so hard for kids to sit still.” Turning to her granddaughter she asked, “Lisa would you like to share your coloring book with this lady’s granddaughter?” Without skipping a beat Lisa handed her coloring book to Abby through the space in between the seats.

“Thank you! That’s really nice.” Abby beamed.

“I shouldn’t have shouted. I was just trying so hard to make my daughter’s first plane ride a positive experience,” the mother explained more relaxed now.

“I totally understand,” Jill replied.

Tears ran down the cheeks of the woman across the aisle, she was so moved by what she witnessed, and Jill and the little girl’s mom chatted warmly for the rest of the trip. When Jill shared this story with me, I could see how her choice to focus on their commonalities not only made her happier and inspired, but it rippled good energy out to at least the five other people involved.  

Look for Connections

This is what we need to do with people on the other side of the political divide. If we can catch ourselves when we’re judging, hating, or retaliating in kind, and just pause… and look at the person from a broader perspective, as Jill did—we can find our common ground, and that’s the place I feel good about coming from. How about you?

Believe me, I swear at the TV and get all worked up about things going on in our country and the world, but when it comes to individuals, I am committed to the affirming way of life. My neighbor may have different political views than I have, but she loves her son passionately like I do mine, she is smart and I love talking to her about books, and she is committed to family just like me. I choose to see the good in her which shapes the way we relate.

Each morning I spiritually center myself by reading a lesson from The Course in Miracles. I love this: “The whole reality of our relationship with God, lies in our relationship with one another.” It reminds me how important the way I view and treat others is.

Your Takeaways

• Choose to be a force for good. Catch yourself when being a hater, and shift your perspective to see the good in the other person, especially now with the polarized political divide.

• Look for commonalities—our shared humanity, to nurture your connection with others.

•   Know that every instance, (as seemingly small as offering a cookie), that you focus on the good and what you have in common with others, shapes your life and the world!

Why not bridge the political divide and commit to being a force for good today!