How many times have you noticed something absolutely wonderful about someone—but didn’t tell them? Or, in the moment thought, what a difference this person has made in my life—but didn’t tell them. Or, you really appreciate the way someone was so there for you—but didn’t tell them. These missed opportunites occur with loved ones, acquaintances, even strangers, and for most of us, the number of times could be in the hundreds and thousands!
I want to share with you an inspiring story from a friend who woke up and became attuned to living her life with no more lost opportunities sharing her heart.
Monica’s Story
Monica is a generous, good-hearted person, yet very quiet and reserved. We became friend over thirty years ago, but drifted apart and hadn’t spent time together in many, many years. A few weeks ago, I saw Monica again when her daughter, a very dear, former student of mine, was in town and invited me to come visit at her mom’s house. As a gift I gave each of them a copy of my book, The Affirming Way of Life: See the Good, Speak the Good, Spread the Good.
A couple of weeks later, I received a call that I can only describe as a gift as valuable as gold. It was from Monica. She said:
“Gail, I read your book on the airplane on our return flight from vacation, and couldn’t stop reading it. It was like it was written for me. I don’t share what I think and feel. I grew up thinking what I thought wasn’t important. So I just kept it to myself. Even before I read your book I would catch myself at the grocery checkout thinking how beautiful the cashier’s lashes were or admiring her thick mane of hair—but I kept those good thoughts to myself.”
“It was so hard for me to make this call to you! I said to myself, I have to call Gail, and tell her how her book has opened the door to my heart. I tried texting the message, which would be less threatening to me, but each time I wrote the text—it disappeared! This is a sign, I thought, but if I call she’s probably not going to be home or she’ll be busy—this is the story I tell in my head!”
“Gail, I don’t know if saying I’m proud of you is appropriate, so instead I want to say, I’m proud to know you! Your book has given me a pathway to connect with others. I’m so grateful!”
The Impact of Monica’s Epiphany
I’m sharing Monica’s call with you as both givers and receivers of thoughts and feelings from your heart. When Monica told me about her thought process making excuses to avoid being vulnerable and possibly rejected by me, I thought, wow, I can relate to her feelings and I’ll bet many of you can, too. We all make excuses in our heads to not affirm others for fear of being perceived as foolish.
Monica’s openness touched my heart on many levels. I was so honored that my book enabled her to open up in a way she yearned to. I shared a growth moment with her which is always very exciting. I consider her more real and brave now. And as a receiver of her positive words, it was actually the first time she had expressed her admiration or appreciation to me in all the years I’ve known her. Monica’s openness with me made me feel more connected and closer to her. Now I’m looking forward to our sharing of a new more open-hearted relationship.
Living this affirming way of life makes me attuned to messages I hear about expressing our hearts and connecting with others from music, TV, books, or the news, but especially songs. As I wrote this blog Kelly Clarkson’s song, Breakaway—take a chance, make a change, and breakaway (from old heart restrictive patterns) came to mind! Though Kelly’s message is different, listen to it from the mindset of this blog, and be inspired in your own way by Monica’s bold change to continue expressing your heart. Your affirming words may be just what someone needs!
