When I awoke in the middle of the night and meditated to fall back to sleep, you, dear reader came to mind and I wondered: Do you ever have difficulty seeing the good in others to affirm them? Do you curse at and get irritated at drivers on the road (or drive with someone who does?) Even if your answer was no, the practice I’m sharing with you is a game-changer.
I use a meditation app called, Insight Timer. I am wild about it. Because it offers such a variety of assists to meditate from guided meditations, to music, to a timer with lovely nature sounds, to groups to join with people around the globe—I have been meditating for 551 total days, 171 consecutively, totaling 7.9 thousand minutes—it tracks me and rewards me with stars (making the teacher in me happy!) I mention this as an entrée to the meditation I listened to last night.
I fell back to sleep listening to the voice of Sharon Salzberg, reknowned meditation teacher, lead her signature Loving-Kindness meditation. She had us repeat to ourselves a version of the following:
May I be safe,
May I be happy,
May I be healthy, and
May I live with ease.
Then she guided us to repeat the same phrases thinking of a stranger; then with a person you have some discord with, and finally with a person you love or care for. Research says, repeating these phrases slowly and calmly and feeling good energy as you recite them, contributes to feelings of self-love, empathy, understanding, and kindness. And Sharon says, by repeating these phrases “over and over again, this is who you become.”
Loving-Kindness Meditation and The Affirming Mindset
So, you may be asking, how does this connect to the affirming mindset? Affirming begins with looking for the good in others, which can be difficult. I have used the Loving-Kindness meditation for years and it definitely has supported my feelings of positivity toward others. When I’m out in the world I repeat these phrases to send good energy to strangers. I send it to all the people driving on the highway; as I enter my neighborhood I imagine the good will of the phrases going to my neighbors; in the grocery store I send it to the employees and shoppers. Of course I don’t do it all the time, but by sending good will to others in our free thinking moments, it builds a mindset of our common humanity, the bonus of which is positive feelings towards others. Most importantly, focusing on the good in all people can transfer to noticing more of the good in those who matter most to us!
Here’s a great article from Mindful magazine if you’d like to read Sharon Salzberg’s thoughts on Loving-Kindness: “Why Loving-Kindness Takes Time,” https://www.mindful.org/loving-kindness-takes-time-sharon-salzberg/.
Your Takeaways
Repeat the Loving-Kindness phrases as a ritual to create more peaceful feelings in yourself and towards others. It only takes about 5 min.
Send good energy to others when you’re out in the world as a gift of good will. You will become a force for good which I promise will boomerang back to you.
Consider developing the meditation habit. There are many good apps out there, Insight Timer is one of them. Guided meditation is easy, relaxing, can take mere minutes, and builds inner peace making it easier to see the good in the people in your life.
Keep looking for the good in your dear ones and all people and then express it!
