2020 - Make it a Dreams Come True Year!

I take every new beginning—birthdays, the Jewish New Year, New Years Day... as an opportunity to start fresh, and what can be a fresher opportunity than a new decade! I want to share with you my New Year’s ritual that has assisted me in fulfilling long-awaited dreams and can become your ticket to realizing your dearest dreams, too.

My ritual started back in my mid-twenties when I lived in a hippie bungalow and was at a rather stuck time of my life. On January one I would don a headband of two silver glittered stars boinging from two slender, metal springs. ( I obviously was trying to rouse the dream-fulfilling fairy.) With pen and paper in hand I’d write down my visions for the New Year phrasing them as if they were already a reality.

Many people don’t take their New Year’s resolutions seriously, with their busy lives-- out-of-sight, out-of-mind. My way of committing to fulfilling my goals is to keep my New Year’s visions in sight. After I carefully write my dearest yearned for dreams in my journal, I copy them in my favorite colored marker onto a large index card and hang them in a place I will look many times a day. Good places for me have been in the bathroom by my mirror, in my clothes closet, and above my desk.

As I say in The Affirming Way of Life: See the Good, Speak the Good, Spread the Good, “Many successful people like Suze Ormand, the financial guru, Mohammed Ali, and Lady Gaga attribute the writing of visions and the use of affirmations to creating the positive mindset that helped them achieve their goals. Immersing our mind in positive thoughts shapes our reality.”

The Process of Dream Realization

As you start this new decade, what changes do you deeply desire to bring about? Consider every level of your life and your self. Are there some personal habits you want to develop? What new good energy do you want to bring to your relationships? How do you want to become more balanced spiritually, mentally, physically, or emotionally? Is there a hobby or experiences you want for more fun? Are their changes you want to bring about for more satisfaction and success with your work?

Whatever your goals, flesh them out. If you identify them, and state them as if they already are your reality, and then daily repeat them to yourself…they will in time become your life. I know because I have been envisioning this way for over forty years and though my goals were not actualized overnight, nearly every one I’ve ever created has manifested. 

Envisioning is taking yourself and your dreams seriously. It’s believing in your capability to realize what is unseen in the present. It’s trusting that though you haven’t shown the discipline to do what you dream of yet, it is in you. Some of my dreams have been on my list for many years, and that’s OK. I know I keep evolving and bring new perspective, confidence and capability each year to my efforts to realize my dreams.

Here’s some of my visions that I’ve immersed my mind and efforts to fulfill, and I will tell you, these were originally miles from my reality:

  • I exercise regularly and feel strong and energized.

  •   Gus and I travel widely and have great fun together doing it.

  •   I write and publish a book that impacts others greatly.

  •   We live in a gracious home that is a warm gathering place for friends and family.

  Your Takeaways

  • Your visions and dreams are possible.

  • For New Year’s, write out your dearest heart-held dreams and visions.

  • Rewrite them as if they are already a reality.

  • Write or type them attractively on a card and post your vision where you will see them and repeat them daily.

  • Believe in your capability to realize your dreams, and take actions that come to you.

Wishing all my blog reader’s faith in yourself as a powerful actualizer! It’s true. I know because I used to be the furthest from that myself. Thank you for being a loyal blog reader and supporter of The Affirming Way of Life. May you and your loved ones be blessed with health, inner peace, and always lots of love! Shoin! And so it is!

Creating Holiday Happiness

The inspiration for today’s blog thoughts comes from Jay Armstrong, my son, Theo’s, impactful, senior year of high school, English teacher.  Jay is the parent of three young children under ten, and lives with Ataxia, a rare degenerative disease that impairs him physically and emotionally.  He also is the teacher that found time after school to have deep life-altering conversations with Theo (and other students.) I subscribe to Jay’s blog, Write on Fight on, and this week’s message sparked my message for you!

The holidays, with all the emphasis on gift giving, make one pause and ponder, what makes us really, lastingly happy? What makes our loved ones really, lastingly happy? Jay pondered the same question and his answer cinched my heart.

A couple of Christmases ago, as he was watching football with his seven year old son, a Lexus commercial came on TV. He says, a shiny black Lexus bejeweled with a huge red bow, received hugs and kisses from a handsome man as his gorgeous family looked on. The message telecast loud and clear to Jay: If you buy a Lexus this holiday season, you buy happiness.  And it bothered him. And it made him think. So he began surveying others on the source of their happiness.

Can You Guess What Makes People Happy?

The first person he asked then and there was his son. “Heh, Chase, what makes you happy?”

“Spending time with you and mom.”

“Really?” Touchdown, Jay thought.

He wondered, what would a person with a terminal illness say about happiness? With deep trepidation, not wanting to be insensitive, he asked a friend and fellow teacher, living with (and eventually succumbing to) ALS. She too wrote a blog, Not Gonna be a Debbie Downer, chronicling her amazing fight with her disease. And her answer, no surprise, was:

“What I’ve found is connections with other people really make me happy. And in turn, time and experiences with them.”

Jay says the essential message he understood about happiness so perfectly in his blog:

“Deb confirmed what I already knew, what most of us know — that relationships are the fruits of happiness. A 7 year old boy, a dying woman, cemented such truth — we are fragile and finite, but in relationships we find strength, we experience forever.”

Your Takeaways

  • So I say to you, in all your holiday gift buying and preparations, remember—it’s the loving quality time spent with your dear ones that matters most.

 

  • Be generous with your heart and tell each person on your shopping list how much they mean to you—affirm the preciousness of your relationships, the source of long-lasting happiness!

 

  • Our dearest relationships are gifts that last forever.

Why not make this holiday the happiest for you and all your loved ones by focusing on what matters most—the people in our lives!




A Lasting Gift to Consider for Your Holiday Lists

With the holidays around the corner, I wanted to give you a gift to consider adding to your lists. We all include things we want—an article of clothing we wouldn’t splurge on, gear for a hobby we’d like to indulge in, some new technology we have an urge for. But have you ever asked yourself how much these things contribute to your being? Sure, new clothing can boost our confidence. Gear and technology can expand our experiences and horizons, but there’s something which can do much more. Something that can have a long-lasting, life-changing effect; that lets you know how truly loved and valued you are …the gift of words.

You know how much words mean to me, my book, The Affirming Way of Life: See the Good, Speak the Good, Spread the Good is all about the gift of words. I want to share with you a holiday tradition I’ve created with my family that gives me tangible words I can revisit over and over to feel the love whenever I need a little infusion.

The Personalized Holiday Card

The holiday card, with a personal handwritten message is what really touches my heart and has staying power. When I feel the warmth, I keep cards from dear ones from every imaginable occasion. The top drawer of my night stand is stuffed with cards. I have two file boxes with tabs for all my closest people’s cards, and a basket of cards spills over next to my dresser. But the ones that I keep next to my bed, next to my heart, are the ones from my son, Theo.

From a young age I trained Theo to pick out a card that speaks to him. I said, “Your words of love and appreciation mean so much to me. One personal sentence is all I need.” (Of course I modeled it for him a bazillion times with all the cards I gave him.)

Here’s some of his messages in the cards on my nightstand that also stand in as perfect bookmarks:

          “You are the most dedicated mom, dedicated to my happiness, success, and love of life. May we spend lots of time loving our life and relationship.”

          “As my #1 backer (other than Dad) and biggest fan, thank you for being just as weird as I am and allowing me to be my true self.”

          And when I published my book: “I am incredibly proud of your amazing accomplishment. You’ve demonstrated perseverance and stick-to-itiveness which will influence my sense of self for years to come. Thank you for being such a strong, hardworking, successful mom. “

The material things Theo has given me, I barely associate with him, but his written words that I read over and over, are priceless. His cards and words fulfill me deeply. They show me my efforts have had the impact I hoped for and so much more.

Give a Card From Your Heart

  • Who do you want to give a card from your heart to?

  • What do you appreciate about your dear ones especially this year?

  • What are you proud of them for?

  • Is there someone who made a huge difference in your life that may not even realize it?

The gift of our words brings such great joy. Heartfelt words not only create a lasting gift, they make our brains happier too. Neuroscientists Andrew Newberg, M.D. and Mark Robert Waldman in Words Can Change Your Brain, talk about how positive words can change our brains built in negativity. Over time, the thalamus—which controls sensing—changes the way we see reality, for the better.

Why not add cards with messages from your heart to your holiday list. Written words last and can be revisited over and over to feel the love!