This is how much our caring words mean—they can save a life. Even if it’s not literally, our caring words in person or in a note, an email, or a text can touch someone’s life when they need it most. Here’s an inspiring story of when the words didn’t show up, the miracle that followed, and the life dedicated to reminding others to seize the moment and express caring words when they’re direly needed.
If Just One Person Showed They Cared
Recently, one of on my favorite morning shows, CBS Sunday Morning, featured Kevin Hines. When he was nineteen, feeling like a hopeless burden on everyone, he jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. Hines was one of only thirty jumpers out of 1600 to have survived. He said, “If just one person had showed me an ounce of concern, I wouldn’t have jumped.”
He knows how much caring words mean. When he was hospitalized for his injuries, he received a note that said, “You’re a good person and you matter.” This made all the difference in his recovery. Now he travels around the country talking about suicide prevention and the role of caring letters.
Hines says, “A note is tangible, something you can hold onto, and read over and over for support.”
Caring Letters and Suicide Prevention
Caring letters as an approach to prevent suicide was the brainchild of Dr. Jerry Motto, a psychiatrist at the University of CA. During World War II when he was overseas, the letters he received from home made him feel connected. He thought, why not offer the same sense of connection to patients?
In the early ‘70’s he conducted a study of people recently released from psychiatric hospitals and at risk for suicide. Half the group received about eight caring notes a year from his staff, and the other half didn’t. In the first two years the suicide rate of those receiving caring letters was half the rate of those who didn’t. Caring notes are worth their weight in gold when someone is vulnerable and suffering.
A Story Close to Home
I know how much caring notes mean when someone’s at their lowest. When my sister-in-law Fay, was diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer, initially she felt her life was over. But she says the caring notes she’d surprisingly receive totally shifted her attitude.
“Week after week I’d receive cards from other women living with ovarian cancer. It was so kind of these strangers to write me to lift my spirits. I stopped feeling poor me. If they could survive, I thought I could too. The cards made me feel hopeful. Each was a little blessing.”
This is what living the affirming way of life is about. Seize the moment to make a difference in someone else’s life by expressing your heart or a few kind words. Here are six tips to get yourself going:
6 Tips on Sending Caring Notes
Reach out and don’t make excuses to yourself when you notice someone is feeling low.
A few heartfelt sentences of hope is gold to someone who’s sad or down in the dumps.
In your words, focus on what you value in the person. “You are a kind person. I never hear you say a bad thing about anyone.”
Say something encouraging. “You’re going to get through this.”
Make your message about the receiver not yourself. Instead of beginning with “I…” begin with “You..”
Don’t over think your message. Better to send an email or text or to make a call than not. Time can be of the essence!
Learn more about Kevin Hines work in his book, Cracked Not Broken, Surviving and Thriving After a Suicide Attempt. He also has a documentary, Suicide: The Ripple Effect.
